sex, sex, and more sex

If you are having more than enough passionate, intense, HOT HOT HOT sex, then please don't read on. While you're at it, send me tips on how to achieve a sex life like yours, I'd welcome the advice. If you could use a little more of that HOT HOT HOT sex (I can't wait to see what kind of spam I get from this post!), then feel free to read on.

I just finished reading Sex Detox, by Ian Kerner, Ph.D. I have to admit, I wasn't the biggest fan of Dr. Kerner's book, but I did appreciate some of his points. Dr. Kerner's premise is simple- our love lives are in serious disrepair and we need a drastic intervention to correct them.

If we were to undertake a detox of any part of our lives, we would fast from that activity for a period of time. Similarly, Dr. Kerner asks that in order to rejuvenate and renew your relationship, you undertake a "sex fast" for 30 days. If you are not in a relationship, Dr. Kerner's program is still applicable, your "fast" would be from dating or casual sex. I didn't read through the sections for single people, but that was the basic idea. During those 30 days, Dr. Kerner provides you with assignments, questionnaires, readings, and exercises to assist you throughout the process.

Dr. Kerner gives scientific explanations for why a Sex Detox will improve your relationship, or your search for a relationship. It makes sense if you think about the Sex Detox creating anticipation and excitement in a relationship that has become boring or lackluster. The Sex Detox is more than just a fast from sex, though, it is a way to change the course of your sex life. A Sex Detox gives you the time and emotional energy to address any problems that exist in your sex life. Hopefully, at the end of Dr. Kerner's sexual fasting, you will learn how to connect with your partner in a new and exciting way.

The book includes stories of people who have undertaken the Sex Detox and improved their lives in some fundamental way. I found the stories interesting (although often very graphic), and I particularly appreciated Dr. Kerner including stories from same-sex couples, something I haven't seen often in self-help books.

Now comes the moment of truth. I understand the idea, and I don't doubt that Sex Detox can work for some people. Did we try the program? No, not exactly. Our sex life isn't perfect, and I'd certainly like to have more of it, but neither I nor Josh see our sex life as toxic. Without getting into too much detail, we have a one year old and Josh works long hours, and those are what we believe to be our main problems, not a problem specific to our sex life. I just wasn't sure that taking a 30 day break from having sex was going to help us.

On to the criticism I have of the program. While Dr. Kerner makes several interesting points and provides very pertinent research backing up his ideas, I didn't like that he proposes undertaking a Sex Detox whether or not your partner agrees. I don't know about you, but if my partner up and decided to take on a 30 day sexual fast, and didn't give me a say in it, I'd be pretty pissed. It would definitely drive a wedge in our relationship. I think this is the type of thing a couple has to agree on, or at least agree that it is an area that needs improvement and assistance. I also just don't believe that there is a one size fits all program that can improve everyone's sex lives, especially when many people arrive into relationships with serious emotional baggage that impair their ability to have healthy and loving sex lives.

That being said, Sex Detox is an interesting read, and definitely worth a shot if you're looking to make a change in your sex life. The program is thorough, well-written, and easy to understand. Check out some of the other reviews on Parent Bloggers to see what other readers have to say about the success or failure of Sex Detox! Dr. Kerner will also be on the Motherhood Uncensored radio show on 2/20 from 9-9:30pm EST if you'd like to hear more!

ice, anyone?

It is an understatement to say that it's been cold around these parts lately. It's been icy, and frigid, and icy, and snowy, and icy, and COLD. Really, really cold. One day a couple of weeks ago, I had to visit 6 stores to try to find ice melt for our driveway, and was out of luck every single time. Josh had to try to break up the ice with the edge of the shovel and hope that no one slipped on what remained.

As you can imagine, I try not to leave the house with Gabe when we're in the middle of these kinds of freezes, but sometimes I have no choice. Luckily, I received two Prestone products for my car through Parent Bloggers that came in handy during those times. I tested out Prestone's Windshield De-Icer and Windshield Fluid Booster. I have to admit that I'm a fan of additives. I've bought Prestone's fuel additives for the last few years, and I don't know, but I think they help. I like thinking that I'm helping out my car by giving it a little boost. I felt the same way about the ice fighters.


The Windshield Fluid Booster is a specially formulated concentration that you add directly to a vehicle's washer fluid reservoir. This powerful formula helps improve ordinary washer fluid performance to remove light ice and frost, repels the build-up of dirt and salt from road spray and helps prevent dangerous re-freeze from forming on a car's windshield.

I added the Windshield Fluid Booster last week, and although we didn't have tons of ice build-up during this last week, I did notice a marked improvement in the dirt and salt build-up. In the winter, I'll have to run my windshield wipers several times during a short drive because other cars kick up tons of gunk onto my windshield. After adding the Windshield Fluid Booster, I ran the wipers and washed my windshield once and didn't have to do it again. I felt like the windshield seemed clearer and didn't look nearly as dirty once we'd arrived at our destination. Even Josh commented that the windshield looked better. Prestone also sells a special winter washer fluid that I think I'm going to buy.


The second product, the Windshield De-Icer is made from a concentrated high performance ice-melting formula. The product, when sprayed on car windows, helps melt ice fast and even reduces dangerous refreeze. It also has a convenient ice scraper top to help clear away ice.
The Windshield De-Icer is the type of canister that you would keep in your car for days when you find your windshield frozen and in need of scraping. You can either spray the windshield and then try to scrape it off, or you can use the scraper that comes attached to the can. The Windshield De-Icer formula seems especially convenient because the scraper and spray are attached, so you only need one product. In a huge freeze, where you walk out to find inches of ice on your windshield, I think that you might need another larger scraper to assist you, but for thinner layers of ice on your windshield, or for frozen wipers or patches of ice, I think this product would be great.

Boston winters can be tough, and I'm always looking for ways to make life easier (especially since we have a one car garage and I don't park inside). I don't have tons of time to spend on icy mornings scraping the car, especially now that I have Gabriel. I can't leave him alone while I run outside, and I hate to leave him in a cold car for too long. I think the Prestone products, both the Windshield Fluid Booster and the Windshield De-Icer help to make icy mornings easier and faster. I'd definitely give them a try if you face snowy and icy days as well.

Check out Parent Bloggers or Prestone for more information!

autolite flareglo

For some reason, I tend to hit curbs when I turn corners. I'm sure it has nothing to do with being a bad driver or spatially challenged or something, I suspect the curbs jump out at me when I'm not looking. I've had to replace two tires in the last three years because I hit curbs and the tire blew out. Once as I pulled into the parking lot of my friend's apartment building, and another time in the parking lot of huge baby superstore. Slightly pitiful, I admit.

Both times were at night, and both times my car ended up stranded in the middle of a trafficky area and all I had at my disposal to ensure that no one hit me were my hazard lights. Both times I also thought to myself that it would have been pretty helpful to have had flares or cones or something that would make people realize before they were practically on top of me, that my car was unable to move.

I'm pleased to report that I now have that product: the Autolite Flareglo. The Flareglo Safety Lite is a small battery operated light that serves the way traditional flares would, without the whole live flame thing. Each Flareglo has three super bright LED (Light Emitting Diode) lights inside of a small red plastic casing. The lights blink rapidly and can be seen from up to 500 feet away. I didn't actually measure out 500 feet to test it out, but I did walk down the street while Josh stood at one end to make sure the lights were easily visible, and according to my tester (Josh), the lights are easy to see and really obviously blinking.

The Flareglo Safety Lites were compact and easy to store in the car, an issue for us since I am a rather serious packrat in my car. These are small enough to fit in a safety kit in your car, or even in the glove compartment if it wasn't packed full of napkins and straws like some people. The batteries were also easy to install in each Flareglo. My only complaint was that one of the tiny LED lights was burnt out in one of the Flareglo lights I received, and I wasn't sure how to go about replacing it. The light still worked fine, since there are three LED lights in each Flareglo, but it did make me wonder whether there is an easy way to replace the bulbs. This is a minor concern, though, if you consider the fact that with flares you'd have to keep flammable stuff in your car. Batteries and LED lights are more reasonable, especially with kids around.

All in all, I'd recommend the Autolite Flareglo Safety Lites, especially if you have a penchant for having car emergencies. I think they'll come in handy in the future, especially now that I'm carrying precious cargo around with me. Check out the rest of the reviews at Parent Bloggers and for more information about the other Autolite products.

keeping it simple

Organization is not my strong suit, not by a long shot. I consider our house to be in a state of "controlled chaos" most of the time. I keep the chaos at bay every day by making little lists all over the house, or by putting away just enough of our stuff, or organizing things just enough to keep the house dissolving into a complete disaster. Lately, it's been starting to get to me. And the biggest problem is that with all the appointments that happen with a baby, I've missed a few because I don't have a good planning system.

Just this week, Gabe had a playdate in the morning, and another playdate and coffee (for me) on Monday afternoon. On Tuesday we had a doctor's appointment, needed to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy, plus we need to pack for our trip to Florida for Thanksgiving. Wednesday had a music class and lunch scheduled, plus a quilting class for me in the evening. Thursday (today) we have to go to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for a dish we are making for book club tonight, plus we have an afternoon playdate, and a music class in the afternoon. We also need to buy a travel crib sheet for the trip. Phew! And I attempt to keep this all straight in my head! Because I'm insane!

Thankfully, though, Parent Bloggers asked me to test out the Family Matters product line by Day Runner. Day Runner has come out with a color-coded organizational line, that includes:

• an undated erasable wall planner
• a wirebound monthly/weekly appointment book
• erasable door reminders
• activity folders, and
  
• storage cases

I tried out each of the products within our own family, and Josh ended up begging me to let him use the storage cases and erasable door reminders in his office because he was such a big fan of them.

The thing I liked best about using the Family Matters system, is that the information was all in one obvious, clear, easy to access place. The erasable wall planner let me put up all our monthly plans in one place that both Josh and I could see on a daily/weekly basis. With all our information in one spot, there were fewer discussions about where Gabe and I would be on Wednesday afternoon, or whether we had dinner plans on Saturday night. I could also mentally prepare for the week ahead when I saw it all written out in front of me.

Another big hit were the erasable door reminders. These were great! We hung one on the front door, one on the kitchen door, one on the bathroom door, and Josh took one to the office. These little dry erase boards have a spot to hold a pen, so whenever you remember something, you can jot it down as you run out the door. I actually remembered tons more errands that I needed to complete since this list was the last thing I saw as a ran out the door. Plus, they are kind of cute, and seriously convenient. Josh used it in his office to write himself quick phone messages or reminders to himself. He got compliments from his coworkers because people thought they were interesting and functional.











Although I thought I would, I didn't end up using the wirebound appointment book much, mainly because I thought it was rather large. It was the kind of traditional wirebound notebook that the office stores sell, about the size of an 8*11 page. It reminded me a little of the grading notebooks that my teachers used in elementary school. It was color-coded to coordinate with the rest of the set, so if you have a spot to keep a notebook like that, then I think it would be helpful.



The storage cases and folders are also coordinated to go with the rest of the set, and they were easy to use, functional and relatively discrete, so I didn't mind having them visible on my shelves.










I only have one baby, so I color-coordinated everything to be assigned one to myself, one to Josh, one to Gabe, one to the dogs, and one to miscellaneous. The dogs didn't do much this month (shocking), so their colors didn't get used much, and of course, Josh and mine and miscellaneous tended to overlap, so we didn't get as much use out of the system as someone who has more than one kid, or older kids that require lots of appointments and activities.

My one complaint is that I wanted the system to be a little more cute or stylish. It was pretty straight forward and clean, but the style didn't necessarily go with my decorating style. If I had the choice, I would have made it a little more colorful.

All in all, I thought the Family Matters line would be really useful for a family on the go. It was functional, helpful, and had tons of coordinating products that would help you to stay organized. If you're interested, check out the other reviews on Parent Bloggers to hear what everyone else thought.

The good news too, is that I have some leftover products to share with all of you!

Leave me a comment telling me why you need organizational help, and I'll pick a winner at random and ship off one of the products for you to try! This year could be the year we get organized!

rockin' the rykas

Since Gabe was born, I've been hitting the streets like I've never hit them before. Walking with him (since my post-baby body isn't quite ready for running), either in a sling or in the stroller, has been my sanity saver when I get a little stir crazy from being cooped up in the house. I'm notoriously bad about my shoe choices for our long walks, though, mainly because I'm too lazy to change shoes or go hunt through my closet to find my sneakers. Inevitably, I find myself walking to our town center and back (sometimes 3 miles or more!) in snow boots or flip-flops. Not some of the smartest decisions I've ever made, I have to say.

Given this unfortunately bad habit, I was psyched when Parent Bloggers asked me to review some new sneakers. I figured that maybe shiny new sneakers would tempt me into wearing them instead of taking the lazy route of the sandals sitting by the front door. I was right.

I received rykä's MC2 Walk shoes in the mail a few weeks ago, and was pleasantly surprised to see that they were pretty cute. I'm not very daring when it comes to sneakers because I want them to go with whatever I have on, so that generally limits me to white or light gray sneakers. Sadly, I find myself wondering if I'm in the minority on the white sneaker thing, because most of the cute sneakers come in bright pinks or purples or an assortment of neon colors. The white sneakers available look like my mother might wear them, and if you saw the kinds of sneakers my mother picks out, you'd be assured that this is not a good thing. Thankfully, the MC2 Walk shoes are cute. They are simple, stream-lined, not too wide or flashy, and go with everything.

Next, the shoes had to pass the comfort test. I have super duper high arches, and since getting a hairline fracture in my foot during college, I need lots of support in those super duper high arches or I end up with stabbing pains in my feet. At the same time, however, I can't have shoes that are too tight or I'll also end up with stabbing pains in my feet. I am a very picky shoe wearer- no high heels for me- especially not while toting a 20+ pound baby. I decided to test the MC2 Walk shoes during a serious test- Gabe and my flight from Boston to San Francisco two weeks ago. I knew this was a risky proposition. Our flight had a layover in Atlanta, and with a baby, a heavy carry-on bag and a stroller, I needed to be comfortable, just in case I had to make a mad dash for our next flight. My feet also swell during long flights like these, so I wanted to be able to get my shoes on and off easily.

I'm pleased to report that the shoes were surprisingly comfortable, particularly for my first time wearing them. The sole of the shoe provides fantastic support, and I found myself bouncing along through the terminals while pushing Gabe in his stroller. My feet never felt sore, even at the end of our journey when my feet were definitely swollen and tired. I did some pacing up and down the aisles of the plane with my tiny traveler, and the MC2 Walk shoes were definitely a pleasure to have on. Once we were in California, I wore them on walks with Gabe and was happy to find them to be very comfortable, no matter the terrain. I didn't try to run with them, since rykä makes both running and walking shoes, and I'd specifically requested walking shoes, but I think they would even work on slow jogs.

rykä creates shoes for women, by women, taking into account the specific comfort and design needs of women. After wearing their shoes for a few weeks, I definitely believe it. I wouldn't normally order shoes without trying them on, but these rykäs fit like a charm. I'm even building up the courage to join our neighborhood gym, because these last 5 pounds are apparently not going to melt off all by themselves. I'm going to have to actually break a sweat before I'll fit back into my old clothes. I have a feeling these MC2 Walk sneakers are going to make breaking that sweat a little more comfortable.

You'll be happy to know, though, that if you disagree with me on the white sneaker front,
rykä has lots of colorful options for you to choose from, both on the running and walking front. I highly recommend the MC2 Walk sneakers, though, if you're more of a walker, like me. rykä also has a couple of fantastic tips to help you determine both (a) what kind of shoe you need, and (b) what shape of foot you have.

In the meantime, rykä is giving away 50 pairs of shoes a day until October 25th on their website! Plus, Parent Bloggers is having a blog blast this Friday, September 14th, for the opportunity to win a full work-out outfit, including rykä sneakers! Check it out and make sure to check out rykä the next time you're picking up some new sneakers!

my secret savior

I have a secret.

I'm terribly ashamed of this secret, and I work to keep it hidden from my co-workers and friends, although sometimes it sneaks out despite my best intentions.

I am horribly disorganized.

Disgustingly.

Seriously.

If you look in my desk drawers, you'll find lovely systems of organization, folders, files, labels. They are all set up differently. Sometimes by date, sometimes by category, sometimes random, but in the end, they are all unused. I have grand plans about how I am going to keep my life organized, and in the end, it all gets thrown by the wayside because I get caught up in life.

I've tried PDAs, Blackberries, paper agendas, keeping it all in my head, keeping it all online, and none of it seems to work.

When I was pregnant, and since giving birth to Gabriel, it has become a serious feat to keep track of all our appointments and meetings and classes. This kid is a serious social butterfly!
All of this makes me nervous because I know how hard it is for me to stay organized, so when my sister in law told me about momAgenda, I jumped at the chance to try something that might actually work.

Last year, when I was in my last month of pregnancy, I purchased the momAgenda in the hopes that it might keep me organized through the last-minute classes, doctor's appointments and errands that I needed to complete before the birth. The good news is that the momAgenda is very stylish and easy to use. If anything was going to help me get organized, this was it. The agenda is set up as a calendar in the beginning, with one month set out over two pages, and then another section with space for you to write in your daily appointments and reminders. The daily pages are listed at one week over two pages.

The daily section is what really sold me on the agenda, because there is room to write out appointments, but also room below that to list out the names of your children (or husband) and what errands or reminders you might need for them.












This was extraordinarily helpful to me, because besides appointments, I also needed a section to write out the different things I needed to remember for each of Gabriel and Josh. For example, today Gabe and I have music class and a lunch date, but I also need to remember to go look at car seats for him at some point today, and Josh needs me to pick up some stuff for him at the pharmacy. Before, I would just have made a long list of everything that needed to get done, and I would have to keep reading the whole list to decide what could wait and what couldn't, and I'd have to keep rereading the list to decide how to structure the day. Sounds like it isn't a big deal, but now I see everything I have to do at a glance, all organized clearly on the page.

My other favorite feature is that at the bottom of the page there is a category for dinners for the week. I've used this feature for the last couple of months and it is so helpful, I can't believe I didn't do this before. On one of the days during the weekend, I sit down for 5 minutes and decide what we're going to eat for each day of the week, and jot it down quickly. Then on Sunday or Monday I go to the grocery store for the ingredients, and I never have to think about it again. If I list out "chicken" for Wednesday, then when I look at the agenda on Tuesday, I know I need to defrost the chicken the day before. Or if I list "salmon" for Thursday, I know that I need to stop by the grocery store to pick it up. Before using this system, I was agonizing every evening over what we would eat and fretting because we had no vegetables in the house or no rice in the house. Inevitably, I was always missing something.

The momAgenda has a few other cool features, like a section at the beginning for important phone numbers and websites. I've used this a few times for airline numbers or rental car company numbers, especially when I'm not near a computer. There are also section for party planning and vacation planning, and a phone book at the back that is removable from year to year, so you don't need to reprint everything, you can just transfer it. With the advent of cell phones, I don't use this feature much, but I have jotted down some numbers there when I meet someone and don't have my cell phone handy.

Like all systems, you have to use the momAgenda for it to work, but I've found that even for me, this agenda is incredibly easy to use. It comes in 5 colors and several different sizes and styles. My only complaint is that it is a bit heavy, but I have to admit that I chose the larger size because I prefer the bigger pages. I get around this by keeping it in the car rather than my diaper bag.

Long story short, the momAgenda is a huge help when organizing the life of a little one, and I only imagine that as Gabe gets bigger, it'll be even more helpful! The agenda runs from August to August, so I just purchased my new momAgenda (in purple!) and cracked open the binding last weekend. It is just waiting to be filled in with our exciting little life!

herbs, vitamins or maybe a prescription?

What are my complaints these days? Well, exhaustion is one, irritability is another, and my leftover pregnancy weight is one of the biggest. All of these combine, of course, for forgetfulness, a low sex-drive, and occasional aches and pains. I don't like to call my doctor unless I'm really feeling unbearably sick, so these are the types of complaints that go diagnosed over the Internet, or simply tolerated indefinitely. Before going to business school, Josh used to work at a pharmaceutical company, and one of his early assignments was to take various illnesses and do Internet searches on them to see what type of medical information was readily available to the public. I don't need to tell you that the response was alarming. For the same problem, he might uncover one website that told you it was no big deal, while another told you that you were on the verge of death, and another might give you inaccurate advice on medical procedures or medicines you should be getting. From then on, Josh told me never to go on the Internet for my information.

Even though I know that using "Dr. Google" can be dangerous, it is far too tempting to resist simply typing in my symptoms and getting instant gratification. That is why I loved reading The 24-Hour Pharmacist. In one reputable book that I could keep in my library, I had information about things like fatigue, weight loss, anxiety, heart problems, cramps and crankiness, among others. The author, Suzy Cohen, R. Ph. has been a pharmacist for 2 decades and has a syndicated column that reaches 24 million readers across the country. Although I've always thought that pharmacists would be more likely to promote prescription drugs than anything else, The 24-Hour Pharmacist recommends natural options such as herbs, enzymes and supplements instead of overmedicating with drugs.

If you were to sit in my living room for an evening of television viewing, you'd discover that this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate the fact that now we have to sit through commercial after commercial for the drug companies. As my mom pointed out last night, we see so many drug commercials that we can now recognize the drugs just from the description. A little purple pill anyone? How about the butterfly?

It worries me that people watch these commercials promising quick fixes for any discomfort, and might go to their doctor with a specific drug in mind to request it, whether or not that drug is the right choice for them. Additionally, if you wait for the end of the commercials, or read the drug inserts, the long list of side effects are often much worse than the original symptoms!

Because of this, I'm a big fan of either trying to prevent illnesses before they occur, or trying to resolve illnesses through natural remedies- both of which The 24-Hour Pharmacist tries to do. Specifically, some of the remedies described even hope to get you healthy and off any prescribed drugs through natural remedies. It sounds a little crazy to say that, but the author doesn't advise you to stop taking your medications cold turkey, but rather to start following natural remedies, or try them as an alternative and then see if your health problems don't resolve. She describes different health problems in great detail to zero in on what the problem might be, and then advises you to work with your doctor to see if supplements might help you as much or more (!!) than drugs.

For example, in her chapter on Overcoming Fatigue: From Stupor Woman to Super Woman, Suzy Cohen R. Ph. describes the different types of fatigue experienced by different women. She has catchy names for the different problems (I think I'm a Juggling Janet) and then describes what might be causing the problems (maybe a drug reaction, maybe an adrenal problem, maybe your thyroid) and then makes suggestions for natural remedies (ask for an alternate medication, change your diet, try an herbal supplement, try an over the counter additive).

My mom and I were glued to her chapter on weight loss, Lose Fat While You Sleep... When Pink Elephants Fly. My mom, specifically, is always trying to lose weight without doing anything, and she's willing to try loads of diet pills if she thinks they'll help. I'm constantly chastising her and begging her to just e-x-e-r-c-i-s-e, but the appeal of an easy fix is just too much. I was sure that The 24-Hour Pharmacist would be a chapter telling you that all the herbal remedies and diet pills are all a waste of money, but instead, Suzy Cohen went into great detail about why each supplement works or doesn't work and what you can try for your different problems. My mom, needless to say, was THRILLED. In fact, this past week we traveled to Montreal and Quebec, and before we left she followed one of the book's suggestions and purchased some hoodia gordonii in pill form. According to her, the hoodia was a raging success. Even when faced with the French treats we passed at the bakeries in Quebec, she was able to resist engorging herself. That is HUGE for her, because notoriously, she has no will power. She's excited to try some of the other remedies described also, and I may just have to eat my words.

Unfortunately, I had to use my mom as my guinea pig because since I'm still breastfeeding Gabriel, I was a little nervous to add anything new to my diet. One suggestion I did follow from the book was to add Omega 3 fatty acids to my diet. I purchased both fish oils and flax seed oils, and alternated for the last month while taking one in the morning and one at night. Gabe's pediatrician approved, by the way. I can't tell you 100% for sure that the fatty acids did it, but I lost about 4 more pounds that had previously been stuck on my frame, and my skin seemed clearer, my hair shinier, and best of all, I felt a little less fatigued and with a little more energy.
I didn't make any other changes besides adding these supplements to my diet, so I'm definitely sticking with it. Plus, of course, we've all heard of how great Omega 3's are for our bodies, so it is certainly worth trying.

I could go on and on about the book, because even the chapters that don't apply to me (yet), like the ones on stomach or bone problems were interesting. My mom is begging me to let her borrow it because she found the information so helpful. The 24-Hour Pharmacist is more than worth it's price, especially if you are a closet Internet diagnostician.

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The Parent Bloggers are giving away a $50 gift certificate to CVS, so if you'd like to be entered in the running, leave a comment on the post for The 24-Hour Pharmacist.